Pastor Mark discusses the importance of using words that are suitable for the occasion, as emphasized in Proverbs and Jesus’ teachings in John 16. It explains how truthful and kind words can build others up. He highlights the role of the Holy Spirit in transforming one’s speech and stresses that real change starts at the heart level. Mark provides practical advice, including keeping scripture in one’s heart and lips and using a Proverbs journal to study verses about speech. Finally, he emphasize the importance of obeying the Holy Spirit’s promptings to ensure one’s words are constructive and loving.
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Pastor Mark Willey
Excerpt from “Talking Like Jesus”
Video Transcript:
Words need context. To hurt, but also to help. And Proverbs talks a lot about having words that are apt, is the word they use, that fit the occasion.
I’ve always been struck by Jesus statement in John 16, because there are some times when truth telling needs to be restrained. Because it just can’t be hurt. It can’t be understood. Jesus said this in John 16 verse 12. I still have many things to say to you. He’s talking to his boys, the disciples. I still have many things to say to you, but you can’t bear them now.
This is why one of the most important prayers of our lives is to say, Lord, what does love look like? I don’t know. I know, I, I, there’s so much truth i’d like to share. Now, usually, we’re going to run from sharing the truth, say, well, that’s not the right moment. But But there are moments when we also have to say, okay, maybe they can’t handle the whole darn load at this moment.
We need to find words that are apt to the occasion. It was striking to me as I put that triad of things together from Proverbs and realized that words that are fitting the occasion, that are building up, and that are truthful, actually fulfilled Marianne’s grandmother’s comment to us many years ago, When she said you should always ask these three questions before you say something to somebody.
Is it true? Is it kind? Those are exactly what Proverbs is saying. If we can say yes to those three things, those are words that build up. Okay, I gotta wrap here. How talking like Jesus happens, verse 30, he says, Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God. He’s the one that’s marked you. That’s what it means by sealed.
He’s identified you. By His presence in your life as belonging to God. And the Holy Spirit is the one that is called in. He’s the one that is there to change your speech. He’s the one that’s grieved. When you don’t lean into Him, it’s not that you’re gonna change your words. You’re not gonna say, well, I’m never gonna speak gossip again.
I’m never gonna lie again. I’m never gonna do this again. But the Spirit of God is there to change our lives. Four quick things. Number one, you need to receive the new internal life of the Holy Spirit. He’s called here the Holy Spirit of God. It’s the only time it’s, he’s called this. It is talking about his, his membership in the Godhead.
There is God the Father, there is God the Son, God the Spirit. In this visual, and I’ve said this often, the role of the Godhead members of these, the Father authors. He authored creation. He authors salvation. The Son accomplishes it. The Spirit applies it. He applies our relationship to God. But we must have the Holy Spirit living in our lives.
We have to have said yes to Jesus and His Spirit comes to live within us. Secondly, you live out this new internal life. Matthew 15, 18 says that the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, that the ultimate change takes place at the heart level, not at the mouth level. In Matthew 7, 18 he says a healthy tree cannot bear fruit, cannot bear, bear, bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear corrupt, bear good fruit.
The word disease there is the same word for corrupted speech. You can’t have good speech out of corrupted heart, out of a turned heart. Elizabeth Elliot used to say, You don’t really know what’s going to come out until you’re jostled. But you find out what comes out is what’s in your heart. And all of us have two cups of water within us.
One with bitter water, one with sweet water. And when we’re jostled, we see which one comes out, and it shows which is ruling our heart at the time. You live out the new internal life by change at the heart level. Third, you have scripture in your heart and lips. Proverbs 22 says this, in verse 29, by the way, of Ephesians 4 says, don’t let it come out of your lips.
Well, how do you do that? Well, Proverbs 4, excuse me, yeah, Proverbs 22 says, incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge. For it will be pleasant, if you keep them within you. If all of them are ready on your lips. I just have a quick thing I want to show you, and, and, I’m wrapping this down.
There is a journal that a number of us have used, that’s just like the Ephesians journal. Looks the same, it’s called the Proverbs journal. And it’s the same thing, Proverbs, Proverbs are on one side and then open page on the next and over the last year or so I’ve just been going through the book of Proverbs.
I’ve been reading it through for about six months. I’ve been reading it through every day That proverb at least and I started putting together some symbols and these are the symbols that I’ve been using I don’t know if you can really pick those babies up, but that’s my own handwriting, which is really Why they look like they do but but basically these are just topics and as you open up the Proverbs Journal, this is a page in my journal of just taking some of those Well, when I went through and I said there are 135 verses and Proverbs that speak on words, that’s because I know that and I could tell you each of those.
I just wanted this is free. If anybody would want those topics or anybody would want to. I’d be glad to share him with you or the list of words on the list of verses in Proverbs on words. I’d be glad to give them to you. But I commend the practice to you to have these topics on your mind as a corollary to what we’re thinking about in Ephesians.
My speech, my emotional responses, my anger, these others. There’s so much practical stuff there of what to subtract and what to add. And Proverbs says, have this Keep them within you on your heart and also have them ready on your lips. The last thing, if we’re going to really be having our words changing, we’re going to be obeying the spirits prompting.
Well, one of the spirits prompting is it tells us to make things right.